Counselling is a way for people who are having problems that they can't handle, can't control, or just don't know how to deal with, to find help from a trained professional. There are many types of counselling. It is dealt with talk therapy. A person goes to a counselor because he/she can't find the answers to a problem. A counselor will listen to the problem and ask probing questions to get at a deeper level of what is going on. The therapist will then either explore with you ways that you can change your thinking about the issue or teach you skills so that you can correct this concern on your own.

We will be using the words counselling and therapy interchangeably. There are many different kinds of counselling such as career counselling or debt counselling. There are also many types of therapy like physical therapy or gene therapy. We will be talking about the psychological types of counselling and therapy.

Therapy can help alleviate emotional pain and suffering. It can teach you new skills with which you can successfully deal with the problems at hand. It can save a marriage. It can help increase your self esteem. It can give you hope that there is a better way, or a way out. It can do all these things and more. The only thing it can't do is change you. You have to do that by yourself. You have to take the skills or new ideas and put them into practice in your life. We continually tell our clients that unless they take what they learned and put it into practice out in the world, counselling will do them no good.

Successful counselling feels like something has changed, something is different. You feel more hope and self-confidence. You are trying out new behaviors and they are working. The way successful therapy looks is other people begin to comment that something about you seems different. Maybe they don't know what has changed in you, but you feel better to be around. You will also notice that you are having different results from actions that in the past would not have gone so well. In the end, you will always be the one to make the decision about whether therapy has been successful or not.

The first thing you do is tell your counselor. Explain what is not working and why. Discuss things that have worked in the past. If the counselor gets defensive it may be time to look for someone else. But it is important to reflect on what your therapist says. The reason we need counselling from time to time is that we can't see our self defeating thoughts or behaviors and it sometimes takes an impartial observer to point out to us what is obvious to others.

You will feel done. Most of the concerns and anxiety that brought you into therapy will have dissipated. You will have learned coping skills and new behaviors to deal with any issues that may persist. Your therapist should be able to give you feedback about your decision and discuss whether or not they feel you are ready to terminate. Ultimately the decision is in your hands.